this week i make my first loan payment, which means i’ve been out of school six whole months. entirely too much of that has been spent sending suck up cover letters, tweaking my resume and overall feeling like shit for not finding a standard 9-5 job with benefits that i have never wanted anyway. to that wasted time, i say fuck. that.
it turns out, i can make a loan payment making what i make right now, and there’s nothing wrong with being a full time barista because it also turns out, that leaves a lot of time for guilt-free pursuit of my own interests— a luxury being a student paradoxically did not allow.
i’m crocheting, sewing, learning how to fix a motorcycle (god the damage this has done to my beautiful sparkle nail polish), checking out books on zines and planning designs that may never actually happen, applying for americorp programs, cooking, trying cool wines, and spending incredible amounts of time with my endlessly rewarding lady friends. why in the world i ever felt guilty about this time is beyond me. why i felt like i needed to surrender this for more money or stability or resume building is a part of myself i am keeping a careful eye on.
in summary, i dyed my hair purple because it’s kick ass, and i can, and wanted to and can. i’m a full time barista, and proud, and gonna take advantage of this space in my life best i am able.
